Middle Child

My sweet Lizzie, I'm watching you change before my eyes.  Your family is turning you into a "Middle Child."  Since you so excitedly became a big sister,  you've had to learn to wait your turn for Mommy's attention while Katie gets first dibs.  Hyrum's finally learned to value the company of his big sister, at your expense.  JoAnna and Hyrum have to be helped with homework.  We all listen while they both practice their reading.  You're big enough to want to do it all yourself, but little enough that it doesn't always work out.  You're big enough to put on your own slip on shoes, but little enough that you still want Mommy to go with you.  And, often you find her busy and you're stuck waiting your turn again.

                                           

Lizzie, my sweet, bright, happy Lizzie.  I miss you!  I still want to be ready to hold your hand when you want me.  I still want to wait patiently for you while you practice your independence. 

I feel so sad when you shout out, "NO!" and I know you really mean, "Mommy, why don't you come so we can do this task together anymore?"  I don't want to put a movie on to babysit you, but sometimes it's the only way you don't feel left alone without me to play with you.  I want to hold you more.  I want to give you more hugs.  But often my arms or hands are full.   I don't want to do anything to hurt your bright optimism and cheerfulness.  And yet, when I see in your eyes that you're feeling hurt, insecure and alone, it's my actions that have made you feel that way.

You're a gentle and loving big sister, as I knew you would be.  But I want you to still have the chance to be a little sister, too.  We'll have to keep working together to find the right balance.  But, don't grow up feeling invisible.  Don't let me look past you, or blame you.  And don't lose the innate happiness that has always shone from you.  I love you, my "middle child."